Would You, Dear Reader, Pick Up This Book?


If I’m being honest, putting today’s post out in cyberspace makes me a tiny bit nervous. If I’m being super honest, I should drop the ‘a tiny bit’.

I’m starting to work on the little steps I need to take to get my first novel published. Little step #1: Summarizing my story in a paragraph or two (i.e. set up for the query letter). So I thought I’d post an intro to the story up here on my blog to 1) see how well I could introduce its basic premise and 2) see if anyone is actually interested in the story. If anything tickles your fancy, please (pretty please ;_________;) comment!

A little background before the intro…
Title: Tangled Webs (yes, the allusion to the Sir Walter Scott quote is intentional)
Genre: Fantasy; YA or NA (I like to think it’s NA but…)


With no family willing to take them in, Holly Ambrose drags her little brother on a job hunt to the town of Nowhere. And why not move to the middle of Nowhere, if it means working beside witches and ghosts in a hotel guarded by enchanted suits of armor with vampires right around the cor–okay, she could do without the vampires, who thirst a little too eagerly for her blood. Luckily, any darkness they bring to her new doorstep is brightened by Nate Pierce, a co-worker as eager to please as he is to teach her about the world of magic she so desperately wants to join. But as dire warnings stack up, Holly is forced to consider that her confidant is a bit more sinister–and a bit more involved in her parents’ demise–than he appears.


So there’s the intro. Any thoughts? Comments Criticisms? Does it make you want to read more?

So cover art is not a decision I need to make any time soon, but I'd love to have something like this spanning the back and the front. The image is from Educational Technology Clearinghouse.
So cover art is not a decision I need to make any time soon, but I’d love to have something like this spanning the back and the front. The image is from Educational Technology Clearinghouse.

 

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6 thoughts on “Would You, Dear Reader, Pick Up This Book?

  1. I like the idea of the cover art, especially if it’s left in black and white. And I am intrigued by your story, but I did have a couple of thoughts (which may come off a little erratic at the moment, so I apologize in advance): You could refer to them as newly orphaned which may add to their plight earlier on, and were the parents’ deaths mysterious/magical? Is this why no one will take them in? Is the existence of these magical beings a part of their normal lives or is discovering Nowhere the reason Holly wants to be a part of that world? And I’m not sure if mentioning Nate’s possible affiliation with her parents’ death is necessary, just that there’s more to him than meets the eye. Do with this what you will…I have so many questions, so yes, I would totally pick up this book! 🙂

  2. Good questions! Their parents vanished under shady circumstances… That’s actually a big part of the story, so I should probably include that. And I actually added the comment about Nate being involved in Holly’s parent’s “disappearance” at the last minute. It’s also a big part of the story, but maybe it’s a part that I could leave out. Let my readers stumble onto that later. Also, yay! You’d pick up the book!

  3. Props to you- I am in similar stages, but have not had the nerve to share my query drafts with anyone yet. Have you read the QueryShark blog? I was pouring through the archives and found it helpful. Then I noticed that the same agent who picked up Divergent encouraged writers to go there, so it must actually be legit!

    Inspired by QueryShark, I would say: try reading it aloud, and if you need to take breaks to get a breath in before the sentence ends, break up some of the clauses into their own entities.

    I’m torn about specifically mentioning Nate’s ties to her parent’s demise- I think it’s better to have something more specific than “things are not as they appear” but maybe it’s too big a reveal?

    But for what it’s worth, I think I like your premise, based on what I read here.

    1. I stumbled on QueryShark sometime last month but didn’t really investigate it enough. I don’t know if I’d have the courage to send in my query… but I could definitely read their critiques of other people’s queries. The advice about reading the query aloud is helpful! Will have to do for my re-write(s)!

      And I’m glad you liked my premise!

      1. I know, I don’t think I’d have the nerve to submit mine either, but reading through a lot of them was helpful- somewhere in the middle of the archives she gives a recommended “formula” for queries.

        You have a good start though!

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